We have been friends for over 30 years. That is longer than many have been on the earth but as I sat there across the table from her, I was so grateful for our enduring friendship. She was mixing around the greens of her Guadalupe Salmon salad, full of apples, avocado slices and of course, salmon. As she inspected it, dressing on the side, I was sizing up my own gigantic black bean cheeseburger with a side of sweet potato fries. Who had we become? Two formally over-enthusiastic, unafraid and undisciplined “foodies” had now transformed into these gluten-free, meat-free, scrutinizing middle-aged still struggling with weight, women. It was hilarious to observe us, but even more intriguing was listening to us as we shared with each other the secrets of adulthood.

We talked about marriage and motherhood, property and taxes, professions and possibilities. As women of faith, we also acknowledged the direction we desperately needed from God to navigate all of those areas in our lives. Then, in the least important moment, while walking to the subway, she mentioned a job interview in another state. I was taken back by the nonchalance of it all but quietly responded that either it meant nothing or could potentially mean a lot of something. Either way, the announcement signaled her willingness to embrace change.

Of course, as with many of us, the life changes of others becomes only really important when we consider how they will impact ours.

Immediately and without conscious effort, my mind went to the obvious question, what would my life be without her close by? I tried to blame the confusion I was feeling on her failure to give me this news during lunch as if I needed to be prepared for her announcement. She was unrepentant and yet I forgave her because the only real sin which had been committed was my selfish desire for things to stay the same.

The irony of our friendship is that our lives have always been in parallel motion. She went away to college, while I stayed home. Then at 23 years old, I ran away and got married, while she returned home to live with her mother. I have borne two children and she believes that children is not one of life’s cards that will be dealt to her.

I envied her daring to consider other configurations of her life at this “late” stage of ours. She was willing to embrace change; a new job in a new state with a new husband. What was I so afraid of? By her own admission during the meal, she stated how thankful she was for our friendship which had weathered so many changes over the past three decades. We have seen each other through marriages, divorce, births and deaths, longings and love, lost and found. For most of that time we have shared a faith in God which was and remains the third strand binding us not only together but strengthening our own bond of friendship.

So I must embrace this possible change on the horizon. It is yet another opportunity to give my dear friend the gift of growth. I challenge her to seize the courage she needs to leave the familiar in order to build structures in the unknown. Most importantly, I promise her that wherever in the world, God sends her, I will remain here, right beside her so that we can solidify an even stronger bond of friendship across the miles of new experiences.