East Flatbush Writer

, ,

30 years of friendship lost and found…

Published by

EastFlatbushWriter

on

I last saw her when we were both 14 years old, now the conversation included planning a reunion for our respective 50th birthdays in two years. There was a group of us, or as Mrs.Reid, the guidance counselor begrudgingly referred to us as “a gang.”

Marlon and i

We were in fact, not a gang but rather just a group of really bright, giggly secondary school girls who loved to spend time with each other. I had another “love” however, which disturbed Mrs. Reid even more than my friends. Unfortunately, I had fallen in deep crush with her son, who was my co-altar person. He carried the metal censer and I the incense. She resented any attention he might have given me in service on Sunday, and surely let us all have it at school on Monday.

Now back to the story about my dear friend, and former “gang member.” Over 30 years ago, we parted ways quite unexpectedly as I left the small city we lived in after only two years in the school we attended together and never really kept in touch. The strange thing, however, is that I am convinced that we had known each other longer because today, despite the separation, the bond between us felt as if it had been there forever.

In the company of her college-aged daughter we shared stories from the years of our lives that we had missed and laughed over moments we had just made.

“This is how it was then!” I informed her amused daughter who was sipping on her fruit coolata but drinking in the soul laughter of our past and present. Even though life had separated us, I thought to myself, this is how it’s always been.

I am absolutely no expert on friendship and many of my closest friends would probably privately admit that I am not as attentive a friend as they would like me to be. Yet, despite that painful truth, I have been blessed over the years and across continents with some of the best friendships. They have endured woeful tears and riotous laughter, fights followed by forgiveness and shared faith as well as finances. Some of my friends expect more than I am able to give while others give more than I can contain. For me, learning how to be a friend has been a lifelong lesson. It teaches us how to love, accept and hope. There is another lesson I learned today, that true friendship can always be found no matter how far away or long its been gone.

4 responses to “30 years of friendship lost and found…”

  1. Lynda Lorenz Avatar
    Lynda Lorenz

    Oh, Nicholine, I just love reading your writings. I wish you would write a book then it wouldn’t be over so quickly. I’m so glad you had such a wonderful visit and reunion with your grade school friend. And I hope you are able to continue those visits with each other. It is amazing how the gap is great only by time and space, not from lack of connections or communication. Once a bond is created it just stretches with that time and space like a real sticky glue and comes back to where it left off when brought back together. I have a friend like that from second grade, she was in third grade and we have never lost a beat though we may have missed lots of years in between. We have been able to get together a bit more in the last couple of years and we marvel at the fact that it’s been – get this – 50 years!!! (you are just a young thing – we are both way over 50! LOL)

    And that’s how I see us, too. One of these days, we are going to be having coffee or tea and your children are going to be sitting there rolling their eyes, shaking their head in unbelief at all the “old things” we talk about and all the things we have experienced over that time. How they are the same and different, yet we will find similarities that make us say, “I can’t believe how much alike we are!”

    Oh, how I love and miss you, girl. Truly one of the BEST things that came from working at the LLL. It was an interesting time in my life and you were there with your infectious laugh and warm hugs as I wound my way through it. There’s lots I don’t remember details of (part of that over 50 thing), I just know that had I not been in that job, I wouldn’t have the blessing of calling you a dear sweet friend. I’m sure all who know and love you don’t pay attention to the expectations of being friends with you as much as they look forward to being with their friend. God has surely blessed you with the gift of friendship, truly He has.

    Keep the pen and ink (you know like in the good ole’ days) or the keyboard filled with your thoughts and perspectives and experiences and stories; you are very good at it. And people, like me, are anxious to read whatever the next thing is that tickles your fancy.

    So…….tea or coffee (or baked potatoes) sometime?
    Big hugs, much love and sincere prayers for you, dear friend.

    Like

    Reply
    1. nicholineg Avatar
      nicholineg

      Lynda you are one of the greatest friends I’ll ever have because you gave me the gift of friendship when I needed it most. Thank you.

      Like

      Reply
  2. Nancy Pyram Avatar
    Nancy Pyram

    Love this ! You need to write a book already!!!

    Like

    Reply
    1. EastFlatbushWriter Avatar
      EastFlatbushWriter

      Nancy you have been so supportive. Thank you!

      Like

      Reply

Leave a reply to Lynda Lorenz Cancel reply

Previous Post
Next Post