East Flatbush Writer

When I first got married, almost eleven years ago, my husband and I were coming together from two totally different worlds. His was one of Haitian Catholicism, superstition and suspicion,  private school and private lives (never tell anyone too much). It was also filled with  over-exaggerated concerns about safety and thus staying inside was always a better option than going out. The television played a prominent role in their lives as it became a classroom of assimilation. It was also an extremely important source of news,  the weather as well as the crime happening all over the world. Over the years, the television’s ever-ready presence is requested most available hours of the day and welcomed into every room.

My experience growing up as a teenager in my mother’s home was one of oppressive, christian legalism. A television was not our friend but the enemy and although we owned  one, it remained in the living room and watching hours were scheduled and closely monitored. Unlike my husband’s home,  television-watching was not to be enjoyed, but to aid in acquiring knowledge about situations about which to pray, For enjoyment, we were able to join in with different televangelist who were as burdened as my mother about this hell-bound world. The thought of housing more than one television was never entertained. Quite frankly, my brother and I  were always one infraction away from having the  “idiot-box” thrown right out the window.

So you can imagine how challenging I expected the negotiation to be on this issue, when our worlds finally collided.  I wish at this point of my blog I could tell you that there was a contentious battle between us, but when confronted with the request not to have a TV in the bedroom, as it would serve the greater good in our marriage, my husband agreed without much fanfare. This laid-back attitude is so frustrating when you are self-righteous, as I felt cheated of the opportunity to lecture him on the virtues of simple living. Although a lover of all things, sports and documentary-based, he felt that keeping the TV (we are working on the other distractions, i.e cell phone and IPad) out of the bedroom would help us to be more in sync and foster more communication.

Eleven years later, we are still TV-less, in the bedroom and it remains a good choice for us. Our communication skills are not perfect as a result, but it has kept the purpose of our bedroom more focused. Our bedroom is a place for intimacy, talking, praying, reading and sleeping. My husband and I do struggle with keeping other electronic devices out of the bedroom at times and that admission, almost makes the suggestion in this blog hypocritical, but I’m hoping that single or married, you will re-evaluate the role of TV/technology in your boudoir. Is it a companion which distracts you from focusing on other comforts or simplicity your bedroom could offer?